I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
