Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
