fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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