Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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