hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
