and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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