there was a trapeze. enough said
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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