so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
