i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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