Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
