Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
