Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize