...so i touched it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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