His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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