he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize