guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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