I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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