3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
