I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
