The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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