I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
