just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
