Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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