I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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