So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
