After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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