It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
