I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize