She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize