I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
His nipple licking is glorious
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