so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
