Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
