Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
