she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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