as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!