Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
