Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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