I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
third nipple confirmed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.