He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
