There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
