your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
