my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
