Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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