I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
40s are totally the cure
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize