happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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