I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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