So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
