apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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