just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize