My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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