STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
