like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
