Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
