I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The air taste purple.
Randomize
