just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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