My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
